TABYTHA GOES TO FLORIDA
• Tabytha Towe's Diary - Our Vancouver Girl
I learned quickly that cruises are notoriously brutal for drinking and unfortunately I like having a nice, cold beer offered to me every 5 seconds.

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Is it not funny that once you have done something seemingly significant, a week or so later it does not feel like you even did it any more? That is not to say that you become nonchalant to the fact either, just that once you build up so much pressure or excitement in the first place, the relief thereafter does not seem so big. Do you know what I mean?

For example, I had known about going on vacation with my family to Florida for a while, I knew it was upcoming, but it was not until a few days before we left when I was packing did I realize that we were actually going away. That’s when I got excited, I couldn’t wait a damned day longer. By the time I got home however and went back to work, talked to my friends, slept in my own bed, two days later it already felt as if I had never gone away at all. How strange it seemed, like it was nearly unreal.

Now let me tell you about this much needed, well deserved vacation of ours. Basically, we all needed this trip -or any trip for that matter, as long as it was away - away from home where we could leave everything else behind us even for a mere single week and at least try to forget about it. We especially needed this trip as a family for some quality time with each other. It had been quite a while since we’ve been together at once for any amount of time, so this was long overdue. Who knows if the timing was appropriate or not, timing is everything. Maybe we should have done it sooner, perhaps we could have held off longer... Still yet, timing doesn’t really affect how you spend it.

Speaking of which, for the first 24 hours we spent purely traveling by car and plane. It was a major nuisance transporting from place to place, switching flights in between airports (all the waiting) and driving from dusk till dawn. It was extremely tiring, I must have fallen asleep about six times that day and of course in the most awkward positions, woke up with a sore neck a great deal and sometimes find myself waking on the floor.

The hotel in Boca Raton was very nice. Poolside, palm trees, peaceful.
At night I couldn’t sleep in the same room amongst the violent family snoring and kicking, so I crept onto the balcony. There I could listen to the musical harmony of crickets chirping all night under the bright stars of an olive painted sky. A tranquil breeze was caressing over my entire presence putting me to a soft, deep sleep. Like a dream. The silence that darkness brings can sound so strangely loud. I was so relaxed that all I could do was lie there and think, except I wasn’t really thinking about anything, Don’t you love those moments when you are so steeped in them you almost forget what happened.

Highlight of the trip for me was definitely the Bahamas. So incredible and hot, unlike how it gets here in Canada, that muggy hot. No, this was that perfect dry heat. We were only there a day but at the most beautiful island called “Blue Lagoon” where such Film and TV masterpieces as “Gilligans Island” and “Splash” were filmed. Wow, what a place. I have never known clearer nor bluer water. clean and unpolluted. The sea salt concentrate was so high your eyes would sting and once you opened them again they would get scalded from the intense brightness of the sun.
(OK that part wasn’t too much fun, yet still I experienced stinging eyes in the Bahamas so what the hell.) Paradise does exist after all. I think I could have stayed there, no problem, all I would need is a hammock and sun tan lotion. Oh, did I mention how burnt we all got!? My family put the color red to shame. By the end of the night we were having ice cold showers and peeling our virgin skin off. We were not prepared nor used to so much UV exposure.

And talk about serious white ass! I actually wore a bikini for the first time in probably four years that day! That was a big deal for me. My being compulsively self-conscious wouldn’t allow for myself to horrify any one at the sight of a little flesh, so I covered up in T-shirts and swam in shorts for many summers. After finally deciding to wear a bikini, I don’t care about how I look so much any more. I’m pretty sure people will not be frightened too much.

The cruise was short lived, “The Ocean Breeze” I believe it was called. Only three days, but long enough considering it was a smaller boat. We had some good dinners on the ship though and we laid siege to the buffets. There was even a midnight buffet for crying out loud! My brother and I met a bunch of cool guys from Boston and Orlando. We partied with them each night at “The Disco Bar”, just me and the boys. I learned quickly that cruises are notoriously brutal for drinking and unfortunately I like having a nice, cold beer offered to me every 5 seconds. That is really where they make their coin, it’s all in the booze on the cruise, bikinis and martinis! (I was soon penniless.)

Ah yes, that was a wonderful vacation. Wish it lasted, I really wasn’t looking forward to coming home, but it was nice to know I would get some alone time again. I never did get around to too much thinking while I was gone as I had intended, nor did I get the chance for the family bonding I was expecting, but hey I still have a tan to show off and some pretty good memories that add color to my photo album.

I absolutely recommend Florida. It truly was a healthy holiday for us all -mentally mostly.
We are at two weeks later now. We came home to a huge responsibility dumped on our shoulders. We decided to get a puppy! The cutest Border Collie, black and white, soft coated and blue eyed. She is so sweet, and such a shit disturber. We didn’t bargain for how much work a dog would be, she’s only two months old, just a baby. Trying to train her is very difficult right now. I don’t know if she’s stubborn or stupid. Discipline is the hardest part, we all want to be the one who rewards her with a treat, not the person who yells at her for pooping on the floor. She is one hyper little girl.

Still whimpers when left on her own for a second, this dog means maintenance 24-7. I have never had a dog before so it’s a new thing for me, a glimpse into motherhood if you will, a bitter taste. We’ve lost sleep over this mutt, found our slippers chewed, have our cat pissed off, all because she’s worth it. What a spoiled brat. Must be puppy love. (Me so funny!) I am starting yet another battle with the family on what her name should be.

It should be changed really it’s so cliché. “Coa Coa” Come on even other dogs would make fun of her. She needs a better name than that, let's give her a break here. What would be a good name for the bitch, literally? Another thing I came home to, which is another example of having done something then feeling like it never really occurred, was breaking up with my boyfriend of nine months. Things actually ended before I went on holiday, but it seemed so surreal.

It still feels like we never broke up, although I’ve seen him once since we have…OK twice but the first time wasn’t planned. It made sense to me to end the relationship, it simply wasn’t working out as we liked, but it wouldn’t be sensible to cut each other out of each others’ lives completely. I know we will still be friends, we care about one another, the guy lives down my street for Christ’s sakes. It just that it wasn’t good for us (or perhaps not good enough) to be with one another and I hope he understands that.

It was a melodramatic discussion with him that night. It never is easy, not as bad as I assumed though, for I had known it was going to happen for a while. I thought he did too. Afterwards instead of making my point final and going home, we fell asleep in each other’s arms, (that helps.) I want to cheat and see him soon but it isn’t time yet. Just be foolish, I’m not ready. It is so hard to break up with someone and getting over them is even worse. Everything you do something will remind you of that person or you’ll feel upset and want to call your best friend ( when that person was your best friend), and you can’t call him because it will fuck with your head more and just become harder to let go. I still need time to get over it before I can move on. Moving on means to be able to remain friends with him as well. I’ll give it a little longer. We’ll be fine.

So in the past month I’ve gone on vacation, landed a puppy and had my first kind of major break up I guess you could say. Wonder what will happen this month?

© Tabytha Towe - The Vancouver Girl - April 2002

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“…Sometimes relationships get ill…” - The Roots
Tabytha Towe
... My boyfriend and I share something real and wonderful, frustrating
and hopeful and hopeless all at once. What a team we are.


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