The International Writers Magazine: US Politics

Shootout at The Trump OK Corral Casino • Dean Borok Anybody who takes the intellectual approach to American presidential politics is a non-starter. The elephants' graveyard is littered with the bones of serious policy thinkers, all Democratic, since Republicans long ago eschewed any reflection of sanity.

Let me count the ways: Al Smith in 1928 – a serious minded New Yorker trying to get elected in a land of Ma & Pa Kettle Okie hicks. They wanted to hear about Jesus. Adlai Stevenson in 1952, whom the Republicans ripped up for his urbanity and sophistication when the public wanted to hear about Jesus.

1972: George McGovern, a decent war hero and rational politician who was decimated by the freewheeling criminal enterprise operating out of the Nixon White House, that tarred him with the glue trap of “Amnesty, Acid and Abortion, and made it stick. A year later Nixon himself narrowly avoided going to jail with his whole cabinet. Then you get Massachusetts governor George Dukakis, something of a get-it-done reformer who ended up getting his neck wrung in George H.W. Bush’s “Revolving Door” gag.

I’ll continue the list with Al Gore, another prime patsy, who had his lunch snatched right out from under his nose like a chump. When the Republican Supreme Court threw the 2000 election to Bush, despite the well-known fact that Gore had won the popular vote in Florida, Gore just withdrew like he had been checkmated in a freakin chess game. Had he been a decent politician (and that’s the operative word here), he would have called for massive marches and rallies across the country and a monster mega-million-person demonstration of enraged voters on the National Mall in Washington DC. Man, that would have persuaded the Supreme Stooges to revisit that ruling! Instead, Gore just caved in like a toad and grew a beard. He let the party down and he let the country down, because Bush brought in with him all the Biblical plagues of Egypt.

Can you imagine any other modern country that would just assent to being taken over by a coup d’état like that? Even in Ukraine, they fought back against the Russian puppet Yukanovych. Any other country would have gone to the streets immediately. My uncle, Saul Bellow, didn’t like France very much because he considered their politics to be childish and uncivilized, can you imagine! Well, he had a point; the French people would have gone berserk at any attempt to steal a national election!

Following that debacle, the Dems put up John Kerry, who was too decent and civilized, and ended up getting portrayed as a French-style, effete Little Lord Fauntleroy in short pants, and having his totally honorable war record savaged by Bush, who himself was a draft dodger. Not that I give a fuck about who did what in Vietnam, but Kerry didn’t do an aggressive job on insulting the Republicans back in their faces. Maybe he didn’t feel desperate enough.

Well, I don’t think that the Democrats have to worry about this time around, with Hillary Clinton. She is a really ferocious, carnivorous She-Wolf, and she is packing a huge pair of brass balls bigger than any man I ever seen. Angela Merkel proved that a top woman could successfully run a modern country, and Hillary matches all of Merkel’s qualities.

Including Merkel’s atrocious wardrobe. One thing you have to admire about Margaret Thatcher is that despite her odious policies and social attitudes, she was always elegantly coiffed, attired and accessorized. In fact, Thatcher’s wardrobe gave her a huge competitive advantage.

No such luck with Hillary, who would not look out of place in the cocktail lounge of a Pennsylvania bowling alley. Her marketing decision, despite Yale, Oxford etc. has been to portray herself as a backwoods, brass-balls biker mama. In fact, she turned down a multi-page feature layout in Vogue because she feared it would separate her from the herd of water buffalos she wants to appeal to. That’s how desperate she needs to get elected.

But what if Donald Trump has got a strategic secret weapon in the form of his voluptuous top-model wife, Melania? What if Trump figures that America’s self-image of its women is due for an upgrade, like going from a Timex to a Rolex? Not only that , but Mrs. Trump can talk, as well. Being married all these years to El Grande Chumpo must have taught her plenty about talking a line of bullshit. Throw her into the Family Feud Battle Royale, with Bill Clinton as the opposing spouse, and what you get is a world-stunning New York Subway Series, like four wolverines sewn up inside a canvas sack.

© Dean Borok November 2015
dean@200motels.net

No Rhyme or Reason
Dean Borok 12.10.15
Just because the Republicans are indulging in their Nineteenth Nervous Breakdown does not mean that the Democrats still do not have time to step on their own dicks and mess up the election.

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