The International Writers Magazine: Possession

Sex Appeal • Naomi Spicer When we think of possession we tend to think of materialistic goods such as cars, houses, Dolce & Gabbanna sunglasses and “real” UGG boots. To a lot of people in today’s society one's image is often more important than your actual financial status or, even, your true personality.

All this to impress people we don’t know – friends of friends or the receptionist at our country club.
            However, sex is everywhere. Most adverts are oozing in sexual connotations and sex is portrayed in every way possible. The question is whether we find it more important to portray sex-appeal above all else (even if subconsciously). Or does it automatically go hand-in-hand with materialism?
            Gold-diggers. Everyone knows one. Men (or increasingly women) who are disgustingly rich, but find themselves rich and alone. (Insert hot blonde with legs longer than the river Nile.) Money? Check. Sex appeal? Check. Happiness? Sorted… surely? The ‘money-maker’ has all the materials he could possibly want, and now possesses a girlfriend who brings lust to the table. Because, let’s face it, money can only provide so much sex appeal to a balding overweight and sweaty middle-aged man.
            So we possess our partner. They are ours. We argue, often because they deviate from what we desire of them. In the beginning though, we possess our virginity and choose (hopefully) to give it away. Later in life we possess sex, we possess the power to with-hold it, to give it or to tease with it. We therefore also choose to be reckless with it and give it away easily - the girl in your group of friends who has been with more men than years of her life.
            So we possess sex. But we also possess beauty and sex appeal. And in order to share our sex surely we need a certain amount of sex appeal? Women’s magazines are bursting with beautiful women. Men’s magazines are bursting with naked women displaying everything for anyone and everyone to observe. So you can understand why women feel the need to possess sex appeal. To possess the ability to turn heads when you enter a room. To possess the power for men to undress you with their eyes. Is this why plastic surgery is at an all-time high? We need the possession of sex appeal, of beauty, so much that we pay thousands to go under the knife? Just to make men want us? No. “To feel comfortable in ourselves” – which, let’s face it, we will when men want us. (Seeing a circle here?)
            This need for sex appeal is at an all time high. To have a confident aura about you is attractive – people are addicted to it, friends and potential sexual partners, men and women alike. So when we possess sex appeal it comes with the possession of power. The power to choose. The phrase ‘men falling at her feet’ has to originate from somewhere, right?
            The thrill of the chase. The not-knowing, the desire, the lust, the flirting and the being knocked down turns us on – whether we’re being chased or doing the chasing.
            We therefore also possess the power to ‘dump’. The power to say you’re bored, you can’t be bothered anymore or that they simply don’t fulfil your needs. Is this because the need for sex appeal and flirting is squeezed out of sight during a relationship? Is this also the reason for infidelity? And if we choose to say no, if we decide we enjoy the chase, enjoy the attention and enjoy exuding our sex appeal (or if we simply can’t open ourselves enough to find a relationship) is this why we employ “fuck buddies”? We choose to embark on a strange journey of a form of open-relationship with someone whom we just use for sex.

Is this a raw need for sex? Or is this actually a way of re-assuring ourselves that we possess sex appeal and possess the power to give our sex? We need to have someone close because the world can be a big, bad and lonely place? Or because the media convinces us so completely that in order to track and measure our sex appeal and attractiveness we need a man? Whether it be a best friend with benefits, or someone you call for sex. You both know the deal; no strings, no STIs, easy reassurance of your sex appeal. Is it really that easy to separate our sex from our hearts and just “fuck our buddies”? Or is this why these relationships never last very long?
            So yes. The need for sex appeal is all-consuming and this image that we desire to portray is a strange concoction of that Prada dress and Jimmy Choos mixed in with the rawest form of sex appeal to make every man drop at your feet.
            This is what every woman dreams of, isn’t it?
© Naomi Spicer May 2010
See also
My Generation
Naomi Spicer
We stay young for as long as possible, taking gap years; anything to prolong entering ‘adulthood’ and getting a career

More comment