The International Writers Magazine - May 05

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What's in your medicine? • Sam North So it’s like this. I go to the Doctor with heartburn and he gives me this tablet called Omeprazole. Swallow this he says – one a day for four weeks. So I get home and the ‘What is in your medicine’ thing falls out of the packet. I decide to read it. All quotes from the leaflet printed by Dr Reddy’s Laboratories

Can your medicine have any side affects?
Here’s a few that may happen if you swallow Omeprazole.
Skin rash, itchy skin, headache diarrhoea or constipation, feeling sick or being sick, wind, stomach ache, dizziness, feeling faint or pins and needles.
Wait we aren’t finished yet:
Sensitivity to light, skin blisters, severe skin rash which may affect the mouth, anus, or lead to loss of skin from areas of the body, swollen lips, swelling or soreness of the mouth and throat, oral thrush, discolouration of the tongue, dry mouth, agitation, hair loss, feel sleepy or having difficulty sleeping, sore joints and muscles, blurred vision, fluid retention resulting in swollen limbs or a reductions in the level of salt in the blood, increased sweating, larger breasts! Or the development of breasts in men, a reduction in the cells which make up the blood leading to an increased tendency to infection, bruising or anaemia, taste disorders, a high temperature, wheezing, kidney disease or abnormal liver tests, jaundice or rarely…liver failure or confusion in patients with existing liver disease.
In rare cases nervousness, depression or hallucinations may occur.
Warning: Do not operate machinery or drive if you experience these symptoms.

So let me see I go in with heartburn and come out with liver disease, bald with large breasts. Thanks Dr Reddy I feel better already!
What’s in your medicine huh?

*If I don't survive the month you'll know why
Note: May 14th sharp electric cattle prod attack in liver region and dizzyness begin. No sign of breasts swelling yet.
May 17th - still alive
May 23rd: Survived weekend. Now have to pee every 30 minutes without fail! You try watching Star Wars and dashing in an out of the darn cinema...
© Sam North Editor - Hackwriters
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