NEPAL
• Dave Watson's cryptic diary of bowl movements in Nepal
Go to shed (ie: bathroom) -Just want pain to go away. - Get up... go to shed -
Go to shed again

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See Dave Watson's original Nepal photographs

Namaste! Finished my Jomson trek and I'm now back in Pokhara watching 15 Oxen bathe themselves in the lake (A good comparison would be watching Oxen bathe themselves in Tahoe)… Oh look at them roll in the mud and now they're all licking themselves…You don’t know what you’re missing!!! Here's the Cliff Notes version of the trip...Unbelievable Views, Germans/Dutch, Diarrhea, Dehydration, On my own, Card Games, Three Kings to cure my ills.....OK, now let me tell you what really went on…I’ll put this in the order of the trek just like the BOOK (that’s Lonely Planet)…

Day 1: Naya Pul to Uleri -Stop at Tea House near Waterfall before the rain -Meet old woman
(I'm guessing around 142 by looking at her…Oh! Why didn’t I get a picture of her…I thought I may have to write 100 words about her) who is making Chang (Nepalese moonshine) in this shack (that I'm sure the Nepalese health inspector would approve if they would hike that high....Nepalese health inspector...ha ha ha ha ha) -Drink this Nepalese moonshine....don't throw up or have any other bodily reaction..think this is a very good start! -Meet up with Dutch girl and German Guys....trek with them for the rest of the trip…well, sort of…

Day 2: Uleri to Ghorapani -Suppose to be toughest day to hike...I easily drive up the mountain....Now I think I can handle anything…Piece of cake
(Over confidence will take a large fall)
-Hails on top of the mountain...get in before hail....Hear story of how building was burned down by lightning two weeks before...mmmm -Electricity goes out (running theme). - Only place with light is MoMo's pool hall (Yes, the same Momo's as across the street from the Pac Bell Bark)...Now how did they get a pool table up here at 3,000 meters…There’s no way to get up here other than 2 days of trekking! - Only non-nepalese in pool hall. Drink two large San Miguels (Mistake 1) When I go out it is clear the Nepalese are talking about my pool play. They want to take a picture with me...go figure; I’ve become a celebrity in Ghorapani! - Eat Dahl Bat...Have seconds (Mistake 2) -Stomach 'grumbles' all night. Difficult to find toilet two floors down with use of only flashlight

HOW TO GET SICK AND THE SQUITS (Diarrhea) IN FIVE EASY STEPS:
Jam up mountain and think hiking in Nepal is piece of cake. - Go to Pool Hall at 3,000 meters. -Drink two large San Miguel (Do not drink water...its for sissies). -Have second helping of Dal Bat. - Sleep two hours in -10C room, make three trips to the loo and wake up at 5:00am to see sunset (I GUARANTEE that you will now be sick! If you are not I will return your money!)

Day 3: Ghorapani to Tatopani (Poon Hill) -Wake up to go to Poon Hill for dramatic sunset -Don't eat breakfast at 5:30am (Mistake 3) -Take first step up mountain and determine that I truly can't hike (My cockiness has ‘reeked’ its revenge!). The entire trip up Poon Hill is a complete struggle...Headache, stomach grumbling, pain for every movement...I barely get down the mountain and I still have a 7 hour hike (at least its all downhill…) - Drink 2 liters of water and then decide to hike to Tatopani figuring I'll feel better at lower altitude....I leave 45 minutes after everyone else. - Get coke just before I leave. Take first step. Fall on Arse, but pop right back up…Give the “I meant to do that look…”

Entire town was watching…they all laugh… - Feel good until about a half hour before reaching Tatopani and relieve myself of lunch. The BEAST has a hold of me. - Huge Headache!!!!
Squits just off the trek - Reach Tatopani...Thank God! -2 hour nap -Go to hot springs - Get back; feel worse (and now I have a mondo case of diarrhea)! - Get advice from tons of people
(“Drink more water”, “Drink Hot Lemon,” “Don’t Drink Hot Lemon, Drink Lemon Tea…no Ginger Tea,” “Drink Coke,” “Don't drink coke, eat rice,” “No eat a banana,” no
eat....no do this...All of these traveling Marcus Welbys are making me feel even worse… -
Go to shed (ie: bathroom) -Just want pain to go away. - Get up... go to shed - Go to shed again
- Go to shed again - Arghhhhhhhhhhhh!
The BEAST won't let me go (or should I say I can't stop going...)

Day 4: Still in Tatopani -My friend decides to head back to Pokhara because her leg hurts
-When Shane tells me, she goes...."Ugh!!!!!You look like shit!" I think I motion and say something prophetic like.....”uuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh”
-Sleep in until Noon (Well, I can't physically get up except to go to the bathroom).
-Do book exchange at used bookstore (recurring theme-The Jomson trek has an amazing amount of bookstores along it)
-Read two books as I got hot springs
-Porter saves me with miracle drug.
-Everyone has motivated...I am now a day behind…

Day 5: Tatopani to Ghasa
-Motivate somewhat
-See “Three Kings" (People we met in Pokhara that use to teach in Nepal). Give me Jal Jeevan to re-hydrate me! -In Ghasa, go to dinner table where 10-12 people sit. I explain that I have to take this Jeevan mixture and then breast feed since this is what the packaging indicates. Half the table is appalled, the other half are my new best friends since they thought the joke was funny (Another example that the vacation world pretty much mirrors the real world). -Meet great British couples (Been traveling for 24 months) Learn card game call Arsehole! I am Arsehole most of the evening. Go figure…

Day 6: Ghasa to Marpha
-Feel good! Make great time on long trip. -See 'Freaky Dudes!' from India on pilgrimage.
Ask Guide to ask them in Hindi if they can provide us something to help the trip go by...I think everything gets lost in translation....Take picture....one trippy dude definitely not happy....He puts kibosh on me! - Get a room with attached bathroom and western toilet (Yahoo! And I desperately need it that night after the kibosh). - Sing Nepalese Folksongs and then get guitarist...yes, guitarist in Marpha...Do great version of Uncle John's Cabin, but find out that I don't know the words to Cassidy....Nepalese country is Dead country -Eat great Apple Crumble.
-I still have not caught up to Germans or Dutch
-Trade another book…I’m totally thrilled that I can exchange a book everyday on trek…
-Read more books here than the last five years at home…See, California losing electricity could be a good thing…

Day 7: Marpha to kagbeni
-Good thing I had private bathroom....It was used a lot as I can't rid myself of the beast.
-Three Kings give me super drug to defeat the beast
-Stay at same place as Germans in Kagbeni...Finally, I have caught up! -Meet Israeli guy....I teach them Arsehole....I am no longer the Arsehole! I am now President -I think to myself only 60 years ago these guys would have wanted to place us in shower on daily basis, but now we can call each other Arsehole with no repercussions (Shit! I'm meeting the Germans today to play cards again!)…

Day 8: Kagbeni to Muktinah to Jomson
-Long Day-Over 10 hours trekking with an elevation gain of 1,000 meters and then go back down as well.
-Visit holy temple.
-Get blessed my holy man dressed in knock off Addidas sweatshirt and sweats that clearly haven't been cleaned in 500 days (First mistake him as gardener or janitor (if they had those here)....
It was an easy mistake. - Get keys (on Nepalese porky pig ring....I mean is this a holy temple or Disneyland!) to secret room. See picture of Dali Lama with hair and no glasses. Ask guide if its ok to take picture...He says, "Sure"....I'm pretty sure you weren't suppose to take picture there... -Have lunch at place that is playing a Nepalese cover of Madonna's "Material Girl" -
See 'Freaky Dudes' again. Same guy gives me evil eye, but I can now resist since my blessing from the Addidas rep. - Play pool in Jomson and Reggae Bar that has wrestling on TV...Hard to get porter to play with so much to watch.
-Trade another book…

Day 9: Jomson to Pokhara
-Take flight back to Pokhara (Part of the plan) -Beautiful Stewardess (whose only job is to supply cotton and gum to the 12 people on the flight) needs to use toilet, but is disgusted by Jomson's loo (And please ask me about the Jomson airport when you see me, because that's a story in itself). -I comment to my guide, "That may be the most beautiful woman there in the plane, but remember she has to go to the bathroom real bad" After ten days together, my guide goes, "Dazoo (Brother), you are very funny and wise)....See after ten days you just acquire the Watson taste!
-Very glad the plane lands....Interesting to stay at same elevation but the ground gets closer and far away and then close (very close) as you fly….

So, I’m off for more fun to Annapurna Base Camp tomorrow…

© Dave Watson 2001 - see his fine photographs of Nepal here
Dave is a' sometimes consultant'

More travel in Hacktreks

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