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The International Writers Magazine: A Financial Bedtime Story
• Norman A Rubin
A long time ago in the Land of Finance along the Wall Street River and near the border of the towering empire of the Stock Exchange there was a flood of worthless stocks and bonds that overwhelmed the land. It caused misery of bankruptcy to the Barons of the royal lands of finance in the clamorous halls of the stock palace.
Panic swept through causing shock waves and many barons of finance drowned in the worthless flood of papers. Lifebuoys were thrown to them by the stalwart and wise judges of the righteous divan of bankruptcy.
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The high and mighty of the business duchies were judged by the divans of bankruptcy and they paid the piper. Then the barons of finance swept away their loyal army of clerks, bookkeepers and sundry rank and file to the streets of despair.
One of the bookkeepers that found himself on that street was an old keeper of books in an astute investment manor. His name was Mr. Cock and he lived in the country of Bronx. He heard that he was to be a sacrifice to the gods of stock and bonds who failed worshipers the wishes of profit. He thought to himself, “I will walk the road to the fair country of Manhattan and with my knowledge I will invest in a brokerage manor. So he lifted his spindly feet and trudged the road to that fair country.
On the road he met Mr. Bacon who was a wise counselor for an investment manor. He was clever and ambitious, putting his coinage in a treasury house, but the flood of paper overwhelmed the treasury house and was left with no coinage, none at all. In despair he took the road to that fair land from his home in the country of Brooklyn. There on the road he met Mr. Cock. They got on conversing with other telling of their ill fortune. At the end of the talking Mr. Bacon asked to partner himself with scheme of Mr Cock; and together they went along the road to that fair country of Manhattan.
A little further on the same road they met Mr. Ram. He was a clever wheeler-dealer at one of the largest and imposing manor of finance; but the prince of finance removed him from his esteemed post when the floods came. He was a man of middling years and because of his age no posts were offered if there were any at all. So he lifted his stout body to go along the road to that fair country. There on the road he met Mr. Cock and Mr. Bacon. They had a confab whereas Mr Ram asked to join their enterprise which they both agreed.
They trudged the long road and in the bend of the paved way they met Mrs Goose waddling along the road. She was an old widow whose service to the high and mighty of the financial manor was impeccable. She was a loyal scribe and reminder to those barons of finance. She labored loyally for twenty-five years and it ended abruptly due to the flood of certificates. Mrs. Goose saw the threesome on the road to that fair country of Manhattan. With a little effort she asked to join the enterprise which the three partners agreed.
When the foursome turned into another bend in the road to the country of Brooklyn when they saw an unusual sight. They saw Mr. Ox, a bull of a man, stamping and ranting noisily about; and he was cursing to the high heaven. Well Mr. Cock calmed Mr. Ox and he asked him why he was ranting and stomping about. Mr. Ox answered, “I was an upcoming savant of an financial manor who served to sway the princes and princesses of investment to enter the halls of the manor. When the time came I was promised to be installed as a junior prince. But I nearly drowned in the flood of script. When I was rescued the manor was swept away by useless flood of paper. That is why I am ranting and stomping". Mr. Cock told him to settle down and he told him of their plan. Mr. Cock asked him to join the partnership which he agreed.
All five partners to the enterprise tramped the road to the fair country of Manhattan via the countries of Bronx and Brooklyn. They saw in a distance that the flood of papers was still awash in the fair country of Manhattan. They were perplexed and in doubt that their enterprise was doomed from the start, as the flood of paper was not receding. ‘What to do? What to Do?’ was on the minds of the five partners.
One said this. One said that. The Mr Ox spoke up, 'Let us investigate the commodity exchange and establish our manor house on the produce of the land.'
Oh such a babble of suggestions voiced by the other four partners. Then Mr Cock called for order. We will ask Mr. Ox to explain his idea of a commodity market.
'We will have to go the Island of Staten and there are good chances as the island is full of commodities that is needed for us to establish our manor house.' The other four agreed to the idea and they were ready to go on the road leading to the Isle of Staten. But Mr Cock said they were weary and needed a bit of rest before we journeyed to to that island.
So they went to a shadeed arbor near a sparkling brook where there was ample room for their needs. There they could rest their weary bones on the soft grass. Before they rested they made a repast as they were famished.
'I’ve got a big slice of cheddar,' said Mr. Cock. Mr Bacon offered a whole salami. Mr. Ram, being a vegetarian, offered a bag full of tomatoes, cucumbers and carrots. It was the turn Mrs. Goose who had brought in her satchel three pots of salad, each different from the other, plus she provided cutlery and dishes. Mr Ox was loaded with a bag full of fruit – apples, pears, grapes and peaches. To quench the thirst of the five partners to the enterprise the brook was sufficient. And afterward when their bellies were full and their thirst quenched they all laid down of the soft grass and all fell asleep till the next morn.
At early dawn the five partners assembled to be ready to go along the road to the Island of Staten. But first, as good citizens, they must leave the arbor spic and span.
When the five partners spied out the Isle of Staten they saw it was a fair land full with commodities aplenty. They needed to find a building to establish their commodity manor. They searched the high hills and low valleys of the island. Then suddenly Mrs. Goose shouted that there in the valleys on a slope on a hill was an abandoned manor. She pointed the way to the edifice and truly it was abandoned and in good repair. They inquired from a passerby as to who owns this edifice. The passerby said the corrupt Mr. Wolf and the scoundrel Mr. Bear were the owners, but they were chased out of the Island of Staten for their foul shenanigans. But that was long ago and it slipped from the memory of the the good citizens of this fair country.
Then Mr. Ox was sent to the divan of laws and leases to query about leasing the edifice. Well he was told that the crooked Mr. Wolf and the corrupt Mr. Bear absconded without paying a coin to the divan’s treasury. So Mr. Ram you can have the lease for two gold coins, which was a fair sum.
Quickly Mr. Ox went back to the four partners with the good news. They, in turn, bought for a silver coin a bottle of good wine and they toasted the new venture.
The elected Mr. Ram to be the high prince of the manor with Mrs. Goose as the loyal scribe and reminder. Of course Mr. Cock became the princely keeper of the debit and credit. Mr. Bacon was given the esteemed post of treasurer; and Mr. Ox was given the honor to sway the prince and princesses of the commodity fields to enter their manor house.
The first commodity was tomatoes and Mr. Ox persuaded the squires and nobles of the fields of tomatoes to let his manor quote tomatoes for a fair amount which the royalty agreed. Then Mr. Ox with Mrs. Goose went to the country of Bronx, Brooklyn, Harlem and of course Manhattan and presented the stock offer of tomatoes for a fair amount of coinage. Mr.Ox with Mrs. Goose as a loyal scribe and reminder, succeeded and the commodity manor made its first profit. Then they interested the scheme to the lords and squires of the vast acreage of cucumbers, peppers, cabbage and a host of other royalty fields. Mr. Cock was busy as keeper and debit and credit as well as Mr. Bacon was busy counting on his abacus the coinage that flowed in the bourse. Mr. Ram steered the course of the correct procedures for the commodity manor.
So the five partners to the enterprise lived together in harmony for some time in commodity manor with their loyal savants and servants. They established houses of finance and commodities far and wide and a host of keepers to regulate the outposts.
But their peace was shattered as the corrupt Mr. Wolf and the conniving Mr. Bear showed up one evening on the threshold of the commodity manor. The vile pair hammered on the front door and demanded their palace. They heard that the royal squires, lords and barons were flocking to the five partnered manor house. Coinage in the debit was formidable and lucrative and they bid of takeover for the commodity market.
'What to do? What to do?’ they asked each other as they heard Mr. Wolf’s hammering and shouts. The five partners suggestions flew about and one said this and one said that. The Mr Cock shushed the four to quiet as he has a plan to save their commodity market. They listened carefully. We must wail and moan as we are losing coinage and facing the judges of the divan of bankruptcy.
Mr. Ram said loudly, 'Another loss on the commodity market. It is the third time in the past month. We don’t have coinage to cover.... Oh woe, oh woe.'
When Mr. Wolf and Mr. Bear heard the words of Mr. Ram their faces showed doubt. So they stopped hammering at the door.
Mrs. Goose screamed, 'No more pencils, no more paper! Oh woe , oh woe!'
The corrupt crooks of the takeover bid pulled back from the door at the screaming of Mrs. Goose.
'Red ink, red ink,” Mr. Cock yelled, “Red ink, the color my blood.. Oh woe, oh woe!’
Mr. Bacon cried loudly, “Oh woe oh woe what can we do...
When the corrupt fellows were ready to retreat, Mr. Ox came out roaring and flaying his wide hands; he knocked the two villains from head to toe, He yelled angrily, I’m not anymore the baron to sway the princes and princesses..... Oh woe, oh woe! And he continued to flay the vile Mr. Wolf and Mr. Bear until they fled the Island of Staten to the lands of New Jersey – never to return.
And the commodity manor continued to flourish and the five partners to the enterprise lived in comfort happily ever after.
© Norman A Rubin September 2012
Wassa Tea, Wassa Tea for Me
• Norman A. Rubin
"A tea bag was almost a trigger to World War Three,” declared the Old Major as he addressed the old timers, nine in all, setting around the warm barrel stove in the center of Lem's Feed and Grain Store.
