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Emma’s Dilemma • Lalita Kakanadan Emma is disturbed. She can not face this situation anymore…neither could she share her problems with anyone! She is in an utter dilemma. She is a good listener and people often come to her with their problems as she is excellent in consoling others. Now, she is facing a problem…and, precisely, this is a crucial situation in her life!

Though she is a very cheerful person, always laughing and generating laughter among the group, she never laughed from her heart! She was ‘the best friend’ to many…but, she never had a ‘best friend’!
She believed in ‘true love’ and often dreamed about her ‘Mr. Right’ like anyone else of her age. She had a couple of relations too. Nothing lasted more than a few months.

But, she was sincere always… She tried to change herself to the convenience of her beloved from time to time. But, she was always a failure in the matter of love. A bitter experience she once had was to watch her beloved having sex with her colleague!

She realized that the world was not worth loving or being loved. She had seen many betrayals and she had consoled many of her friends. Gradually, she started developing a kind of aversion to the entire male community! She even came to a conclusion that no man in this world was trustworthy and none knew the meaning of true love. Men always believed in lust. They never could differentiate between the two.
Well, at this point, she had to face a number of unavoidable questions from nears n dears.
She was crossing the age of ‘marriage’.

Her family background was excellent with a well educated polished crowd. All were curious about her being settled. They expected her to choose her mate because, in her family, that was the custom. And, elders always stood for the happiness of their children.

Emma was confused, depressed and above all broken to the core…she started avoiding family get-to-gethers, even when she knew that she can no longer continue her life like this. Somewhere down the line she has to get hooked, willingly or not willingly…she has to share her life with someone…she has to have her next generation…and she has to find happiness in her life…

That was the time she came to know about the matrimonial website. One day quite accidentally, she saw one of her colleagues browsing thru the profile of a guy. It seemed quite interesting…the way these guys present themselves. (As if they are going to write bad news about themselves!) All of them like traveling, trekking, music, reading, swimming, cooking…what not!!! All of them are looking for ‘simple and lovable girls’ who can be a mental strength for them… "Caste, country, education, physical appearance DOESN’T MATTER!!"
Amazing!!
Emma thought of trying her luck…

Her expectations were not too much…a well educated, well mannered guy who should have fear for God, compassion and love for his fellow beings and above all he should have a generous mind.
After the vigorous search of two months (well, people do search for months and months patiently!) she found a guy. An Indian from the Caribbean… Rick Ragubir. Emma started communicating with him. She was slowly getting carried away by his talks…for he was a good presenter. He knew how to handle the fragile feminine heart!

He always talked about the poor and homeless children, the greatness of God almighty and his plans on human being. He talked about the necessity of offering the hand to those who are standing ‘down the mountain’…

How can we blame Emma?! Who on this earth would not love and admire a guy like this?! She thought, he is too good to be on this earth…God must have touched his heart and He Himself must have molded it so wonderfully for the help of the poor and needy.

She was mentally preparing to adapt ‘his way of thinking’ and ‘his way of life’…
One fine day, while she was chatting with him on parlis – the sight which he has introduced to her- she has opened her heart o him. She could not believe herself when she revealed her love towards him. She was anxious and curious how easily she could tell him those three beautiful words…And, like the Good Samaritan, he consoled her by saying "the Jesus in you like the Jesus in me".
She praised the Lord…at last He has gifted her with the most lovable guy on this earth.

Days and weeks passed without much complication or confusion. She used to wait impatiently for him at parlis. Her days started and ended with his thoughts!

Her priorities in life have drastically changed…Her happiness lied in his happiness. She religiously repeated those 3 magical words to him, just to make him aware how deep her feeling is!
He in turn positively replied to her and even mentioned his interest in her. But, they have to have a personal meeting before finalizing the future.

Now, God showed them a way…It was the time for our ‘Social worker’ to have the annual visit at the children home where he was a member. So, Emma started the count down. Hardly a month and a half…he will be here…next to her.

She started shopping for him. Well, she is crazy when she is in love. She will do all possible weird things to make her beloved happy. And, this is a special case…God’s own child…the purest heart she has ever come across… But, as we know Emma is always a failure in the matter of ‘love’, she can no longer proceed with this guy. Some or other unexpected problem will pop up. A kind of ‘twist in the story’!

One fine day Mr. Rick stopped chatting with her. He just walked away from her life. Without any reason…rather, he failed to point out the reason. In spite of her many mails she could hear not even a single word from him. She has seen him on parlis regularly. But he kept utter silence.
She became panicked…anxious and surprised to this unpredicted melodrama.
This time, Emma did not want to fail. She thought of fighting the situation out.
She wanted to unfold the secrets entangled.

That’s how Emma became ‘Sarah’. She chose this name to expose the reality.
The very next day, after an hour long preparation and rehearsal, she signed on to parlis disguised as ‘Sarah’! It was not at all difficult to start the conversation with Mr. Rick as she expected.
She presented herself as a daring, rough and sarcastic young female, who has no trust in guys and who always mocked at others.

He started his story the very similar way, the way he has presented to Emma. When he was telling about the social work he and his fellow beings do, neither did she show any interest but deliberately mocked at him by saying, ‘nowadays, social work is the easiest way of minting money’!
When he tried to talk about God, she chopped his views like a butcher!

She was never impressed by these talks, whereas she has started showering the counter points resembling to the missiles of US army. He failed to stand the argument, for her arguments were more powerful than the sword of Hercules! At this point, even Lord Jesus Christ would have bowed down!

The next day, despite the previous day’s sour experience, Rick started the conversation.
This time, he was narrating his past relation once explained to Emma.
Well, now, this is Sarah…she doesn’t know the meaning of ‘sympathy’! She is least bothered about consoling some one… She bluntly asked, ‘who has dumped whom?’
He felt offended (that’s what her aim was!) and begged her to use ‘decent words’ as he is trying to explain his life… He asked her to log on to the matrimonial site to look at his picture posted on it.
But, she didn’t show any interest in it! (She has his picture embedded in her heart!)

And, after watching the snap, she made a wicked comment. She asked him, whether he has hired the picture of Tom Cruise! She even told him that he seems to be very ‘unrealistic’ and ‘weird’!
Well, the poor chap was utterly disappointed. Maybe, this is the first time someone is insulting him to his face. Some ne is looking at him so suspiciously… Someone is mocking him.

Emma was very clever. She went on-line and tried talking to him as Emma. She regularly, mailed him in spite of his negligence. And, at the same time, she was in touch with him as ‘Sarah’- his new catch!
This was the dual face of Emma. She could very well manage the two roles!
Now, the situation has reached at its climax.

Rick fell on his knee for this new daring girl. He shamelessly started telling those three beautiful words to her. He is ready to loose anything for her. He is ready to do anything for her. The more she avoided him, the more he bended for her!
He is madly in love with her!

Emma is confused…She is disturbed by the twist in her life…

© lalita kakanadan Sept 21st 2006
lalita.kakanadan@gmail.com

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