The International Writers Magazine - Our Tenth Year: Pink Slip news

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The Commuter Times.com ISBN 201-422523-0 Publisher: Seek a Solutions Ltd • Laurie O’Neil My first impression of this slim, girly pink, one third of A4 pocket sized booklet with a front cover title of, ‘THE COMMUTER TIMES.COM.’ followed by an italicised subtitle of ‘your ticket to a better journey,’ would probably be the same as yours. This is not a serious publication; this is Private Eye meets Viz.

'This is an amusing, pocket sized piece of fun''

Like the majority of us I spend many a blissful and inquisitive hour in the wonderful world of Cyberspace – so I logged onto www.thecomumutertimes.com and was welcomed by a pink filter window to protect me from any bad language within the site. ‘Hello my name is Harrington Monkpiece, (A play on the word ‘Cod piece’ I assume) I am the editor of the Commuter Times.’ Accepting the filter my first mouse click was to ask ‘Horrace Bohnson,’ again another play on words which I did find rather amusing, but wish that I hadn’t. The current Mayor of London is a disaster waiting to implode whilst the old mayor Ken, although he fined me for driving in bus lanes on a couple of occasions, was great for all Londoners and ex Londoners. Here I found good old fashioned lavatoral humour which contained all the necessary words such as cock and swallow to search out a cheap laugh. Although I didn’t want to laugh, I laughed again.

This is an amusing, pocket sized piece of fun, which could catch on with those dreary commuters, especially the Haslemere to Waterloo lot; the third greyest and dreariest in the commuter league. The champions of ‘Drear’, being the pretentious Guildford lot, followed by the showy Woking shower.

The Commuter Times.Com majored on public transport, leaving a black hole of information, because there was very little satirical humour or even mention of car commuters, the scourge of the ozone layer. There was nothing to make them feel surges of guilt for sitting alone in their car cocoon, surrounded by music and spewing out noxious gases.
So will the commutertimes.com bring peace and silence to my rail travel? So will this pocket sized pink tome stop the ‘Hi I’m on a train.’ Or silence the cellulite city ‘old chic’ with her static botoxed face ‘I really, yah really feel he needs more interactivity, to think out of the box.’ From talking, forty minutes of jargonised crap? Will I be able to daydream and look out of the train window and picture myself shagging against an oak tree in a beautiful arboretum with the woman of my dreams? No! The one third of A4 pocket sized booklet could be used to slap the aforementioned botox faced woman around the face. For £4.99 this is an expensive compilation of Schoolboy humour. It was however entertaining but Petersfield to Waterloo should be sufficient to read it. Value for money not good, but a fun read. However, I preferred the free web site which had a bikini clad, fine looking woman waxing/shaving on a train. You don’t get that in the pink book or South West Trains.
© Laurie O'Neil October 2009
laurieoneil at hotmail.com

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