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The International Writers Magazine
: Celebrating Life at 50

Turning the big 50
Sara Towe

Well it finally arrived, the dreaded 50 mark. What is all the fuss? So I turned 50 years old and yes I am glad for it. I have always been a person to embrace each birthday. I consider it a privilege to be another year older. So much illness and death all around us, I think that reaching yet another year is a blessing and one should pat ones self on the back for getting there and learning the skills to survive.

© Image of Sara and Kandy 1972 by Sam North

Not only that, but turning 50 at this stage in my life, is invigorating. I am separated, co-writing a book, business is picking up and I have found like-minded people to associate with. I would say that turning 50 is being kind to me, so rock on.

There is some thing about this benchmark, which makes you reflect. You look back on all that you have achieved and also what is still to be realized. I have climbed a very steep and rocky mountain. I am at the top right now looking with courage at new mountains to climb, new adventures to be had. Life is an attitude, a state of mind, and all that has gone before me has brought me to this positive state of psyche that I am in now. Trouble and strife do make for an enlightened outcome. Without struggle, there is nothing to challenge you to the next stage. Complacency is something I do not want in my life. To never grow is to curl up and die. That is not me any more.

I can say that I have known the deep dark depths of depression. I have had the constant doubts over my existence. I have felt alone for most of my life, because when you live the other side of midnight, you are in the dark with another person, the other you.

Most of my life there was this other person in my mind heart and soul. As a child I thought it was just imagination, but as I grew I knew it to be so much more. It did scare me, not the power but the embracing of it. I am so distinctly a modern day conservative adventuress. But I am also a spiritual clarifier. I can see in to peoples past and futures and know whom they are and where it is that they are going. If you look at me, you see a vibrant (as I feel I am now) 50 year old trying to endure singlehood and a new realm. I am more in touch with who I am, and why I am than I have ever been before. I like me now, and it only took 50 years to get here.

In my work I see so many lost souls tying to fit in to their lives, instead of embracing their existence. There is this misconception that by this age you should have done it all and know it all. Bollocks! Our lives are the journey; we are our own destination, not the world’s expectation. When I stopped trying to please every critic out there, and look into pleasing my conscience and my living being, I realized that I was a much more valued person to myself and to everyone else.

Not having to live up to strangers expectations is liberating.
Imagine if you will, you have people, family members too, who know nothing about who you are and what your wishes may be, telling you that you are a failure or a nobody because it does not fit into their experience or limitations. Do you know how many of you are out there?

So I have made my life’s commitment, to release peoples from their confusion and give them the clarity so that they need in order for them to continue on their journeys. So 50 is great, I have learned to accept myself, even better, to embrace me and all that I am. I have also welcomed the other side of my midnight. I am motivated each day to include that side of me into my daily life and to value its contribution to moi. Surprise, the whole of me is accepted, because it is the completion of me. Age is just a number, but what you have done with this time is what counts. Mistakes are our lessons, to swerve of the beaten track is our adventure, and to doubt is our way of asking for guidance and to love ourselves is to embrace Gods work in all of us and love the whole of who we are.

So wrinkles and all, I am more alive today than I have ever been. More excited to be walking forward into a new adventure, a new beginning. They tell me that I look younger that I have in years (so kind) but the honest truth I feel younger. I feel like a wise teenager waiting to enter adulthood, scared, but excited, and with great expectations. The advantage is, that this time I know who I am and just how to get where I am going.
So do not fear age. But if by this time you have not embraced your trueself, fear rejectment for your existence. Living well is living honestly with yourself and with your creator. I t is never to late to explore who you are. Nor to embrace the wonderful being inside. 50, 40, 30, 80 or 90, who cares, just know they self-truthly.
To all those turning 50 this year, I wish you all happy wonderful truthful lives.
ENJOY its great.
© Sara Towe Ocotber 15th 2004
"Soul awareness & personality enlightment councilor"

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