International Writers Magazine:
If I had wanted to
see a film about Giant Robots fighting each other I would have gone to
see "War of the worlds" or "Sky Captain and the
world of tomorow". Okay, they were awful films, but at least
I can get the gist of their plots from the title!
Directed by Michael Bay - starring Shia
LaBoeuf, Rachel Taylor,Megan Fox
Produced by Paramount Pictures.
Ist Released 27 July 2007 (UK)
went to see Transformers I didnt know what to expect. I had
never heard of this film before and the title certainly didnt
mean anything to me. So
I was pleasantly surprised when I watched a rather good teenage
coming of age drama about Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBoeuf) and his frustration
of not going out with Michaela Banes (Megan Fox). It was a pleasant
and heartwarming romantic comedy that I would have enjoyed even
more if Michael bay hadnt kept bringing in all those scenes
with the Giant Robots!
All joking aside, this film represents the worrying trend of Nerdy films
being adapted by well meaning but misguided people in order to make them
accessible to normal people. With Transformers, they thought audiences
wouldnt be able to empathise with giant, building-flattening robots
that transform into cars. So they added three other storylines about Shia
Laboeuf being a nerdy kid that feels like an outcast,
And the titular characters
are given a small cameo in between scenes. Why they thought this would
make the film better Im not quite sure. If Pixar can make us empathise
with a Rat in Ratatouille, then it cant be that hard to give
some robots a bit of character!
The soldier (Josh Duhamel) that wants to see his child but is serving
in the army all the way out in the middle east, and the unrealistically
hot hacker girl (Rachael Taylor) that
not really sure what shes there for
Rachel Taylor is there for the boys
The most unfortunate thing about this film is that even when the Transformers
were onscreen it wasnt particularly exciting. Michael Bay is famous
for being an action film director
So why in the name of all that
is holy did I realise halfway through the finale that I was bored? Optimus
Prime had just been thrown through a building, and I just didnt
care! Casshern an obscure Japanese film that few have seen, managed
to rape my visual cortex whilst also swapping my eyes and testicles surgically
for comic effect, and just with action scenes short enough to boil an
egg in! Why couldnt Transformers at least try to do that?
This film attempts to please everyone, and in doing so, manages to spread
itself way too thinly in the process. Gone are the days of appealing to
only one demographic at a time, its not like the original fans of
the series are all going to be taking their girlfriends along with them
Stop kidding yourselves and just give us a film that caters to the nerd
in all of us! And if you do want to try something a bit different with
the original concept, give it to someone like Scorsese or Tarantino! If
the film had involved the line "Hey Optimus! I aint no f**king
Decepticon!" Id pay double to go see it! Twice!
In short. Its worth a rent, Shia Laboeuf is quite funny in places,
but none of its going to stick in your mind for more than five minutes.
If you were a clever little person you would use that money instead to
rent the two films in Italics above in the article, and get Night Watch
while youre at it. That will show you what a real fight scene looks
© Jack Clarkson November 2007
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